Writer-in-Progress
Sample Compositions
DOG ATTACK!
PRIMARY 4
AL, SHPS
“Mum! I’m going for a stroll!” Sam hollered.
Sam’s mother replied with a cheerful “Okay!”
It was a breezy day. Sam would never know that the day would take a turn for the worse…
While walking to the park, he hummed a merry tune. When he arrived, he saw a brown dog sleeping under the wooden bench. A pile of stones nearby caught his attention too. Suddenly, an idea struck him — throw the stones at that dog! Running over, he picked the stones up and starting pelting them at the canine!
“Hahaha… ” Sam snickered. The rudely-awakened dog began snarling and barking at Sam. It was so angry that it leapt to its feet and chased after him. Sprinting at breakneck speed, the determined dog chased him until it caught up with him. Then, it bit his leg to teach him a lesson!
“Ouch! It hurts!” Sam screamed his lungs out. Crimson red blood started to ooze from the wound. Sam limped all the way home in pain, pursing his lips to stop himself from crying.
When he reached home, Sam related the whole incident to his parents in one breath. His parents brought him to the hospital immediately. While the doctor was tending to his wound, Sam reflected on his reckless action. From that day onwards, Sam was never playful again.
Comments :
When AL first joined us, she wanted to do well but had no confidence nor the writing skills. As techniques and language were imparted, she put them to use purposefully. Her ideas came to life subsequently.
SPRING-CLEANING
PRIMARY 3
NS, ESPS
Sunlight filtered through the clouds. The cold air smelt of dew. Janice’s school was doing spring-cleaning for their classrooms. Excitement was bubbling within Janice. The moment she saw her friends, she broke into a smile and greeted them, “Good morning, everyone!”
After a while, everyone arrived so the class started to clean up their classroom. The class monitor delegated the responsibilities. The children worked as a team and did their best in their tasks. Beads of perspiration formed on their foreheads.
When they were done, Shernice dropped a pail of dirty water on the floor accidentally! Everyone gasped in consternation. They stared at the wet floor in dismay, blinking continuously. Shernice’s face was as red as a tomato. She lowered her eyes, visibly embarrassed. A boy shouted, “Why are you so clumsy? You’re as clumsy as a bear!”
Shernice stammered nervously, “I’m so sorry!”
Alas! The poor and tired students had to clean the floor all over again!
Comments :
NS was a child who often came up with offbeat ideas, especially in conclusions. Though there is room for improvement in the sentence-structure, we recognise her writing competency as a P3 (9-year-old) child. We believe in celebrating every milestone in each season of our students’ progress.
A PICKPOCKET
PRIMARY 3
WT, YMPS
“Help! Pickpocket!” a frail voice shouted. It sounded like an old lady. Everyone stopped in their tracks and turned to look, including Manisah.
Manisah’s friends, Elizabeth and YiLing, had brought her to Chinatown to experience the festive atmosphere. The girls were walking around, pointing out the interesting sights to one another excitedly. Just when they were gushing about the pretty decorative ornaments, the cry interrupted them. Before the trio could make sense of what was happening, someone pushed past them brusquely.
He was the centre of attention. All eyes were fixed on him. In his hand was a purse. It was obvious he was the pickpocket. Someone shouted, “Return the purse to the old lady!” However, the pickpocket made a face and took off at full throttle!
One man started to give chase but Manisah stood still and calmly, she took out her handphone. After calling the police, she joined the pursuers. Luckily, there was a fruit-stall nearby and the stall owner saw the pickpocket. He threw a grapefruit at him! As soon as the grapefruit hit him, the pickpocket fell onto the ground with a loud thud. A man pinned him down and when Manisah caught up, she sat on him.
Soon, the police arrived at the scene. Thye ordered, “Return the purse to the old lady right now!”
Reluctantly, the pickpocket loosened his hold as the policemen handcuffed him. Before the police left, they praised the civic-minded man and Manisah!
Comments :
WT was a student who wrote compositions without filling in the details. However, he is an earnest student who is always enthusiastic about doing his best. After a year, this is the fruit of his labour!
AN ACCIDENT
PRIMARY 5
NC, GSPS
Ring…
It was the school bell! That was what I was waiting for! It was time to go home! My classmates and I threw everything into our bag and scurried out of the classroom.
As we headed towards the school gate, I saw my best friend, who was also my neighbour. “Ali! Ali!” I called out. He turned around and waved at me. As soon as we got out of the school gate, I showed him my new football. We began to throw it at each other.
“Pass the ball to me!” I yelled. Ali complied. He threw the ball so high that I could barely see it. Alas! It flew to the road. Without thinking, I dashed towards it and bolted onto the road to pick up my precious new ball.
“Watch out!” Ali hollered in horror. As I turned my head, I saw a car speeding towards me!
Only one thought screamed in my head and I did not know what to do : This is the end of my life.
I closed my eyes.
Thump!
Darkness engulfed my world…
A few hours later, I awoke. My blur vision cleared only after I had blinked a few times. Voices of many people in uniform were around me. When I sat up, I felt a surge of pain through my ankle. It was also then when I realised my family members and Ali were by my bedside. A cast was on my left leg. “Seems like I’ve fractured my leg,” I thought.
Mother had tears in her eyes as she hugged me. “Do you know how dangerous it is to dash across the road? I was so worried for you!” she cried as she chided me.
I was very disappointed with myself for upsetting my parents . I promised that I would look out for cars and not be reckless. I would also take good care of myself, especially when I had to move around on crutches for several weeks!
Comments :
NC is a cheerful girl, and this is reflected in the lively tone of her composition. Though the descriptive expressions are not used often, NC makes it up with the tone and paragraph-for-effect.
FORGIVENESS
PRIMARY 6
KT, GSPS
“Samantha! Do you know that Jenny has been spreading rumours about for for the past few days? She told me that you stole someone’s stationery and borrowed money without returning!” Tisha told me during recess.
I stood rooted to the ground and stared at Tisha, barely believing what I had just heard. Millions of thoughts raced through my mind. Why would Jenny even say that? Does she hate me? What have I done that made her so mad? Without finding out the truth, I ignored Jenny over the next few days.
During Physical Education games, I would partner with Tisha instead of Jenny. Jenny was flustered. She had no one to pair up with. I went for recess with anyone but Jenny. I did not care what she thought or how she felt.
As days passed, I noticed that Jenny had new friends. I was riled as firstly, she spread rumours about me and now, she had decided to hang out with other friends! I was so upset that I itched to do something nasty as payback. What was the one thing that Jenny treasured most? I thought. Ah ha! It was her Science notes. She shared that she had spent a month writing them. I began to look out for an opportunity to steal them. It took a few tries but I succeeded eventually.
With the notes in my hands, I scurried to the toilet and locked myself in a cubicle. I tore them into shreds and flushed them down the toilet bowl.
After recess, I sat in the classroom quietly, waiting for Jenny’s reaction. As expected, she rummaged through her bag frantically, searching for her precious notes. When our form teacher, Miss Aminah, entered the classroom, Jenny ran up and reported to her at once.
Miss Aminah turned to us sternly and asked, “Have you seen anyone loitering around just now? Anyone saw the culprit?” We shook our heads. Suddenly, I could feel my face and ears flush hot. Feeling extremely guilty, I wanted to own up but I was still fuming.
Days went by.
I did not have a peaceful sleep each night because of the guilt. Finally, one day after school, I went up to Jenny and confessed about my misdeed. “Jenny… err… the truth is that I… I actually… erm… I… I tore your Science notes…”
Jenny stared at me with eyes wide open. She was absolutely flabbergasted. “Why would you do that?” she demanded in a whisper from the shock. I told her everything. She listened in disbelief. Then she told me she did not. We deduced that Tisha was jealous of our friendship and hence, she sabotaged our bond.
Jenny forgave me, and we became closer than before. To make up for my folly and spite, I wrote a new set of Science notes for Jenny. It was a painstaking experience. Once bitten, twice shy. I learnt to find out the truth before jumping to conclusions. Moreover, I also learnt that spite does not pay.
Comments :
This story is realistic and more importantly, KT has written herself as a spiteful protagonist who repented subequently. Most students write of themselves as the nice character. Either that or their character is not as malicious. KT has chosen to portray herself as such.
ACCIDENT IN THE CANTEEN
PRIMARY 6
SY, JYPS
Kyran, the Vice Head Prefect, was wearing a blissful smile as he took a deep breath. The whole canteen was filled with the aroma of freshly-cooked food. Walking towards an empty spot, he put down his water-bottle before scanning around. “What shall I eat?” he wondered as he stared at the snaking queue that had formed at his favourite stall.
Just then, a group of riotous boys broke his thoughts. They were dashing about in the canteen, laughing and screaming at the top of their lungs. All of a sudden, there was a loud crash, followed by a scream.
Everyone froze.
“What’s that?” students from all corners of the canteen murmured amongst themselves.
Kyran walked over to find out what had happened. Five snow white fishballs lay on the dirty floor. Bright yellow strings of noodles were scattered around. The girl stood frozen, completely dumbfounded. Staring at the overturned food, she began to mutter, “My fishball noodles… this is all I can afford…” Suddenly, as if awoken from a trance, she turned to the culprit. Pointing her finger at him accusatorily, she screamed, “You! You return me my fishball noodles!”
Riodan, who was the culprit, and a school bully, bellowed, “How dare you demand that I pay for the noodles!”
Tears of frustration and embarrassment trickled down her rosy cheeks. More whispers and murmurings were heard. Riodan rolled his eyes and sneered, “Crybaby!”
As he was about to walk away, a crisp clear voice was heard. “Please return the money. You’re not supposed to run in the canteen. Return the money or I’ll tell the teacher!”
It was Kyran.
“Who do you think you are?” Riodan smirked, surveying him from head to toe. Then, he stormed towards Kyran, grabbed him by the collar and snarled, “Get out of my way!” Letting go of Kyran, he shoved him aside roughly and strode away.
However, Kyran tried to stop him from leaving. To everyone’s shock, Riodan threw a punch at his face! Just when he was about to punch him again, the principal, Mr Tan, boomed, “Stop it!”
A pin-drop silence descended.
Mr Tan continued, “Bullying and fighting is a serious offence in our school! I’m glad the Vice Head Prefect intervened.” Before Mr Tan led Riodan to his office, the latter pulled out a two-dollar note from his viridian-coloured wallet and passed it to the girl grudgingly.
As Kyran watched them walk away, he knew that it was only a matter of time that Riodan would be in hot soup again…
Comments :
This is another of SY’s compositions. It is fully developed with all the vivid details, matched by the apt descriptive expressions. Moreover, the conclusion is unique — the culprit isn’t always repentant. Let’s be real. Some children learn from their mistakes while some make multiple mistakes before they learn. Then, there are the few who never seem to learn. We do see that in school. Hence, this is one example of a recalcitrant school-mate whom some of you may be familiar with.